I've lost my Wisdom
So I had my last two wisdom teeth pulled out yesterday. I have to say its really not that bad. The guy I went to is awesome. I go there, they knock me out and in two mins I was done. Came home slept a little while, watch TV, sleep, and as long as I keep taking the wonderful Vicodin I am fine!
The thing that shocks me the most is I only sleep for about an hour and a half with Vicodin but I have the clearest dreams that make me think they are happening now. So I had a dream about me and my dog. We were playing in the park. And I called her Baylie (that is how I would spell it). So I think that is what I am going to call my dog when I get her. Then again I may get her and go "your not a Baylie" But I guess we will have to wait and see.
So being on spring break and all, its kinda nice getting all this sleep. I think today I am going to be fine to get up and do a few things around the house. I need to get my job applications out, clean up my scrapbook room, put pics in albums, and the hundreds of other projects that are sitting in my scrapbook room waiting for me to finish! So we shall see what all we get done today!
I Want My Dog!!!
Ok, so I decided to do the smart thing and wait till June to get my dog. It just means I will be home all day and I can train her the right way. But it doesnt mean I cant start shopping for her right? So I was looking at a magazine and I think I found my doggie bag to carry her around in while she is little.
How cute is that! It has a matching collar and leash. Im going to keep my eyes out for anything else but so far thats my pick.
No Bitchy!
Ok, so all I have done is complain and bitch and oh woes me! So its time for something positive.
Tomorrow is the last day of school!!!!!
Before spring break that is. One whole week off. Granted I am having my wisdom teeth pulled on Tuesday but I have some drugs and I will get to sleep for two days! Plus I am hoping that this whole eating everything in the house will stop once I cant eat anything solid! So maybe I can loose a few pounds too! haha
So if you don't hear from me for a few days, you will know why!
My Poor Kids!
I feel sorry for my kids today. I'm cranky, in a bad mood, irritated, and ready to cry at any moment. What's that called again? Oh ya, PMS!!! It is horrible, I think 10 times worse today than it has any month. Yesterday I was craving fried pickles and took Miss M out to get them. She fed me cake afterwards. It was comfort food. But today I cant stop eating, some of the kids voices are on my last nerve, and I have some missing out of recess just because they have bugged the crap out of me today. Once a month my poor kids go through this but never as bad as today. I think for Friday I will have to throw them a party to make up for me being so bitchy.
This Sucks!
Its only day two! Its so stinkin hard. I keep looking at my phone to see a text from him. I wait for a phone call telling me he is coming over to hang out. I wake up in the morning and roll over to find no one there. I want to text him this morning to wish him a good day. I had a routine. I was used to that routine.
I know with time that things will get better. I know that I am strong and will get over this. I know that I will find somebody else. But what if I don't want to? What if I just want to stay at home and not go out? What if I just want cry every time I think about him? What if I just don't want to date anymore just for the sake of not having to go through a heart ache again? What if I think that maybe down the road when he figures things out in his head that we can try this again?
I really liked him. I liked the way he made me feel when I was with him. Maybe our only downfall is we met at the wrong time. Maybe my downfall is I try to rush things.
I do think that this blog is the best thing I have. I love that I can just write down what I am thinking. And truly I don't care who reads it. These are my thoughts. I need to get them out!
Gotta Love Kids!
So I almost got a dog on Sunday. A lady in North Phoenix had a girl and she was only 800. Now I know some of you are saying "ONLY!" but the dog I want is usually 1200-2000 depending on the breeder. Now it has come across that getting a dog right now is a replacement and I want you to know that I have been craving to have a dog for 6 months now. It just so happen I found a good deal that day. Sorta like a doggie sale! I got so hyped up and mom was ready to lend me the money for it. But it was Sunday, she only took cash, and there was no way mom could get out that much. So I really had a double bummer day yesterday. But the dog I realized could wait till June when I am off and home all the time to properly take care of her. So I was telling the teachers today about the dog. One asked "Why would you pay 800 for a dog, what does this thing do, wash your car?" So I told her about the dog and how I wanted a "paper" dog. She laughs and says, "I can make you a paper dog!" Well she knew I was having a bad day so later on in the day she had her class come in and each one of them had made me a paper dog! I almost cried! Here is a pic of a few of them I put up on my wall by my desk.
So I have come to discover that if you are having a bad day then surround yourself with kids. You have no time to sit and think about the bad thoughts. You don't want to cry in front of them for they will ask you a million questions of what is wrong. And they come and hug you and just love on you all day cause they can suspect something is wrong. Some days you just gotta love them
Theme Song For the Day
If your not the one by Daniel Bedingfield
So Miss M had this happy bunny on hers so I had to do it. I did one for how I would normally pick the answers for...
It makes you sad that the world sucks. You are emo
aren't you? I think there is a emo quiz
around somewhere. Go take it to find out.
What Happy Bunny Are You?brought to you by QuizillaAnd this one for how I am feeling now!
You hate a lot of things. And you hate this quiz
too don't you? Oh well, just so you know I
hate you too *grin*
What Happy Bunny Are You?brought to you by Quizilla
We Are Not At The Same Place!
WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO FREAKIN HARD!!!!!!
WHY DO MEN HAVE TO SUCK!!!
Honestly, I don't think I can take this anymore. Why do I always give my heart out to the wrong guys? Why am I the one always getting hurt?
Its over. I don't know what else to say except its over.
He is still in love with his ex. How can I compete with that? Why should I wait for him to get over her? I've learned my lesson. You cant make a man love you and you cant change them. Those are two rules I have learned through my years and today they were put into practice. I cant make him love me. Not when his heart is with someone else.
It hurts. I should have guarded my heart more. I don't understand why I give it out so freely.
You know, he always talked about goals and dreams in life. Mine, all I want is to find true love and be loved. I want to be a wife and a mother. I want to be happy no matter where I am and what I am doing. That's all.
So I find myself back to the place I was 5 months ago. Single. And I hope this time I don't take it as hard as I did last time.
I fell to quick and to hard. Is that my lesson?
We Had A Fight!
We= Me and the Boyfriend
Now I should just let this go, but I cant sleep so I thought the only way to get it out is to write it down. Then maybe I can sleep.
So today was any normal day. Spent the night over at his house, had a wonderful morning with him, went shopping at the stamping convention and spent way to much money, came home, worked on report cards, had a bottle of wine, and he came over after going to the bar with a few friends.
So I was drunk already when he came over....Apparently so was he! He tells me that he is pissy and I ask why. He tells me that I don't need to know. Now come on! When somebody tells you that you don't need to know then you know you need to know!!! Right!! So I got mad. I had every right to be mad. He wants me to open up and tell him my feelings and thoughts so why shouldn't he. So he must have gotten tired of me being mad and he tells me "I'm thinking about my ex". Not what every girl wants to hear. And he knew that and tried not to tell me in the first place. But I had to know. And I am glad I know! He for some reason doesn't understand why his ex broke up with him and it really bothers him. He told me that he needs to know why, or he needs to hear it from her mouth telling him why she was unhappy with him. I told him cant he just accept the fact that maybe they just were not meant to be together. He said NO! He needs to hear why she didn't want to be with him anymore. I just wanted to cry. What I heard in my head was...Your not good enough, I like you but you are nothing like her, I loved her and only like you! I told him that he had someone that wanted to be with him right in front of his face! You want to know what he said? Well maybe I'm just selfish! Stab to the Heart! So I told him he can go home and he stormed out of the house.
So after shedding a few tears I have come to figure that I was right in the beginning. I am the rebound girl wither he wants to admit it or not. He is still hung up over this girl and I'm just someone that he likes. That is not what I want right now. I want someone who looks at me and thinks "Man, I love this girl and I am so lucky to be with her"
So is it over? I don't know yet. I find myself in that situation again where I have given my heart out again just to find it not wanted. I knocked down my wall and started to open up to somebody just to find myself putting the blocks back up because it is safer that way. The thought of having to be single again is killing me, I wont lie, but it is better then being with someone who cant get over an ex and give their heart to you. I'm getting to old for this!
